…

Anyone can look from a distance and make assumptions but to know your taste it means something else. It means we’ve been close, closer than anyone else.

tranquilizer

Vague and opulent

yet well defined.

“Are you alright, sweetheart?”, she questioned me

I smile and say “I am fine”.

“fine…” as numb as it could be

No peevishness to sling,

No Disgust to Spare.

like free falling,

Falling deep down,

to a white pitch, made by your while lies

your lies so white… It made me blind.

“Are you Okay?”, she asked again.

the question like a full stop to my paralyzed falling.

The anger now out like a lava form a sleeping volcano.

bursting with tears, ruining my Mascara.

I am no more tranquilized by your lies

Like a wild beast I’m back to my own world.

back to being me again.

“I am okay… now you can leave”

Photo: All rights reserved to Queen Enigma.

What if one day,you just randomly woke up.. And your whole life was a dream?

You are sitting at your porch, looking at all people who passes you by. Some stranger and some people you know. A short exchange of smile and gestures, that flow pass effortlessly. You are 60 now. Grey hair, creased face, mastering the art of life and caring less about pretending to be who you are not. Your drowsy eyes somehow manages to take a  long wanted nap. You close your eyes and just when you though, you were drooling on your rocking chair at your porch, you find yourself on the green grass at your parent’s backyard. Everything thing looks dreamlike.You look around and everything seems so new but somehow familiar. You see a lady approaching towards you and says, “honey how many time have I told you to not nap on the dirt?”  Those words hammered your subconsciousness shattering the silence. Suddenly you realize you are 6 again!

You’ve been dreaming all this time? Everything that made you, you. All the wrong choices you had and all the right ones that made you treasure. All those heart breaks and like a Phoenix rising from the ashes of the love you lost. Hope and despair. Wants and needs. smile and tears. Learning from all your past and dreaming about your future. All those people you knew, who made your life joyous. All the wrong soul you met, who hurt you to the core.  Getting married to the person you love,being parent to the most wonderful kids in the world. Holding your grandchildren in your arms for the first time… 54 years of your unconstructed yet beautiful life, Just a dream?

Knowing every bit of what life has preset for you. Would you change anything? What if, one day you just randomly woke up.. And your whole life was a dream? what would you do?

Vol. 2 Ch. 5 P. 6

Reblogged from The Background Story:

I used to think you were invincible when I was kid, but while growing up, I’ve come to realize that you are just like any other human being — you get tired, hurt, old and sick. You have disappointments, regrets, failures and disillusions. You are sometimes angry and upset for reasons I don’t understand. You have beliefs I don’t agree with.

Read more… 51 more words

:)

Spill out your heart and write me a letter.

Dear Whoever prefer writing love letter,

Please make sure you write exact words that your heart bears. Everyone loves to get the oh-so-classic love letter and love notes. But  the minute you write lyrics of songs and love quotes from google, it looses its magic. It will be just another love letter you see on the internet.

Write what you wish to say the person you love. Spell your feelings into words and spill it all over the pages. Make that someone special smile. write it in a way, when the person you love reads it they can feel what your felling and believe what you have to say.

So this is a letter written by my friend  to “curly boy”. The words that came from her pen if definitely were the words that came from her heart.

So spill our your heart and write me a letter…

 

 

————————————————–

About the Curly boy.

So we were attending our boring subject at college. To kill the boredom we asked a friend to write a letter to a male version of herself. What she’d like to hear if she were a boy. Curly boy was then born.. (: curly boy because she has curly hair and since it is a male version of her, We decided to name him curly boy. To be honest I don’t enjoy college much but it is one of the few memorable moment at college… (:

 

Once upon a Poem…

One day during our Nepali class. My teacher was telling about life after death and stuffs. My head was in the game and a movie started playing in my mind. I was imagining what if one day I die, all of a sudden. I knew people would cry a lot and miss me too. But eventually everyone is going to forget me once i’m dead. depending on the time and my role in their lives. I will fade from their memories one day. So was the poem born.

Rokincha bhane mero swash chitai

Rahancha mera sabi swapna rittai,

Sajha ko hawa banni  timi lai chuni chu

Kahi katai ma pani ta runii chu.

 

Behos hunchin holi meri aama

Roi-karai ghar ko kunaa ma

Ghati kokaie, anushu lukai

Baschan buwa mera sablai samjhai.

 

Kura garda hun, mera sangi-sathi

Sunchu ma tinilai basi badal mathi

Shauney jhari jhai ansu bagaulan

Tasbir mera k sadai sajaulan?

 

Ti hasso, ti din, Sabi bhuli bhulaie

Sochchau hola Gaye ma achanak bilaie,

Taba Suskera bani, timilai geeta sunauchu,

Timro hareak muskan ma mani  ramauchu

 

Mero maya ane muskan, tyo  atuta satha

Shayad rahadaina eakdin kasailai yad

Tasbeera mero sab harayecha kyare

Samhajana ma jharni ti ansu rokecha kyare

 

Kehi dina, kehi hapta, kei mahina kei saalh

Bancha mero astitwa matra eak kaala.

Timro Samjana bata  jaba ma jharnichu

Wastab ma tyo din matra marnichu.

Picture by a friend. Thank you Regina.

P.S: The poem is dedicated to my Grandparents.

Dear Baba and Aama,

Wherever you are, I hope you are look at me and smiling. I miss you guys so very much and I love you the most. I miss you, I miss you a lot lot. One day, I will make you proud. Baba i’m gonna make your dream come true and built that “Ashram” you wished for. I will always remember you Guys and that’s how I’ll keep you alive. I love you forevermore.

that feeling you get…

Sometime all I wanna do is curl up in my bed and force myself to sleep. No phone. No laptop. Just me and my whirlpool of thoughts. I’ve always been ears to all, suggesting them with everything they go through but seldom I follow my own suggestions. I’ve been mom to my grandmother and my mother and brother to my siblings. I’ve been a wall to all who came to me. Protecting them and hearing them out. But to be honest, I get tired sometimes. I get tired of always being there for all. I’ve been sick of being everyone’s yet alone inside myself. They say technology have made connecting with everyone so easy. Facebook, twitter, IM… name it! but the truth is we’ve never been so alone. All I want is someone who can listen to me. All that I have to say. A person to whom I can speak my heart out without a fear of being judged. Someone who will not compare my problems with the rest of the world’s for I am not like anyone else for everyone have their own unique battle they are going through. All I want is someone who can hear me out for real and not just wait for their turn to speak.

As I pretend like am dead. Laying stiff in bed. Trying to feel numb. Thousand things that made me, me hits my head like thunder. My mom dad and sister and grans and my friends, work, all the strangers that I pass by without noticing. Everything like flashing lights. I close my eyes and go back to all those place and think of me as an invisible person. Then I’d see all those faces with caught up and bottled feeling. I see me in every other person that my mind takes me to. Then I realize that every one needs someone they can cry their hearts out to. Shutting yourself emotionally not only make u stoned but it bottles up all those lonely hearts who rely on you. I realize that this is the only thing that keep me sane. So I get up, open up my laptop turn my phone on and wait for that “hey you there” to appear on my screen.

However sometimes, all I wanna do is curl up in my bed and force myself to sleep.

**Disclaimer:- picture all rights reserved for Queen Enigma**